I am not Pastor Dave. My name is Steve. My wife and I are the ones that:
tell your teens to hug their parents
tell your teens to read God's Word for themselves.
tell your teens that they are not kids, but that they are adults
-disclaimer: I have no teens
But we work with teens and try to understand their culture.
So for WEEK 2 of our IES series, Family-In-The-City, we are address all the parents here…
Because after a decade of working with teenagers, we have come to the conclusion that…
YOU HAVE BEEN LIED TO – ADOLESCENCE IS A MYTH (This is my title)
If you are thinking “awww…I’m not a parent”…..don’t leave! We believe that this is a sermon for everyone….
*primarily for parents who have little kids that will someday be teens (people like me)
*also it’s for parents who have kids that r already teens (hope this sermon is not too late)
*also, there are grandparents/ great grandparents here ….you have little ones/teens in the family.
*also, some of you are teenagers
*also, many of you are young adults (-40) that will 1 day be married (which will probably result in having kids)
*OR you are a young adult that still considers yourself an “adolescent”. (you REALLY need to hear this sermon)
*Finally, in general, we are ALL living in a society where bazillion-dollar industries revolve around teenage culture, and we are ALL part of this society that has been lied to about the abilities of teenagers.
How many of you know a teenager that is taller than you? That has homework you can’t do?
Teens are bigger and smarter than most old people, yet they are labeled “kids”
Let’s start with a POP QUIZ:
The first documented use of the word “teenager” was:
a) Tyndale’s first edition English New Testament in 1526
b) Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet in 1623
c) Benjamin Franklin’s Poor Richard’s Almanac in 1739
d) Theodore Roosevelt’s Strenuous Life speech in 1899
e) A Reader’s Digest issue in 1941
The correct answer is e.
Which means that the concept of a “teenager” has only been around for 70 years.
Think of a normal 15 year old teenager. Is he a kid? Or an adult?
You’d probably say, “Well…neither….he’s in this weird middle stage called “adolescence”.WRONG!
Adolescence is a myth!
Throughout history, there has never been an age category called “adolescence”…until recently. The average 15 year old was regarded as an adult, and was expected to act like one.
Let’s start with God’s Word. These are some of Jesus’ LAST WORDS that he spoke before ascending into heaven. Listen carefully:
“Go make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And teach them to obey everything I have commanded you...” Matthew 28:19
“You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8
Who did he say this to? [If you said “disciples” Yes, you are right….. But do you know how old they were?]
Jesus’ disciples were NOT middle-aged men with full-grown beards. They were all teens!!!
In Jesus’ day, every Jewish kid –even girls - goes to the synagogue and learns to memorize the Torah til age 12. Girls leave school at this age and go get married. The boys learn the rest of the Hebrew Testament until age 14
When a rabbi passed thru their town, they might ask the Rabbi “May I follow you?” If bright enough, the rabbi accepts him as a disciple. If not, rabbi encourages him to pursue a trade.
Jesus broke the norm by finding some 14-year olds mending the nets for their dad, and saying “Come, follow me”. Notice this: when he called them, the disciples were all around 14 or 15!
[Peter & Jesus’ Temple Tax. Matt 17:27]
Jesus has 3 years of public ministry, teaching these teenaged disciples. And right before his ascension, he gathers his 17 year olds for the last time and says….
“You are in charge of reaching the world” (huh?)
That was 2000 years ago.
If you get a dozen 17-year olds together now, what would you expect? Trouble!
What happened???
In this last century, society’s expectations of the typical teenager have become soooooo low; that nowadays adolescents are only expected to:
1. get good grades, and
2. stay out of trouble. (I decided not to show the video…”What are your parents’ top 2 expectations of you?”
If you can just do these 2 things (good grades/stay out of trouble), everyone is happy. You are considered a “good” teenager if you can just meet these 2 simple criteria.
Society’s expectations of the modern teenager are loooow.
John Maxwell tells of a study done on monkeys. In the study, a group of monkeys were locked in a room with a pole at the center. Some nice, ripe bananas were placed at the top of the pole. When a monkey would begin to climb the pole to get a banana, he would be knocked off with a blast of water from a fire hose. Each time a monkey would climb, off he would go, until all the monkeys had been knocked off repeatedly, thus learning that the climb was hopeless. It was then observed that the monkeys would pull down any monkey trying to climb. When researchers would introduce a new monkey to the group and he tried to climb the pole, the others would pull him down. One by one, each monkey was replaced with a new monkey and the scene was repeated until there were no monkeys left in the room that had actually experienced the fire hose. Still, none of these new monkeys would climb the pole. They pulled each other down each time one decided to give it a go. Not one monkey in the room knew why, but none were allowed to get the bananas.
Society labels you a “typical teen” …and if you try anything exceptional like
*starting a web business ….. they PULL YOU DOWN and say “you’re too young to do that!”
*or writing a book ….. they PULL YOU DOWN and say “you’re too young to do that!”
*or creating a ministry for orphans. ….. they PULL YOU DOWN and say “you’re too young to do that!”
*or, like me, want to get married @ 18. ….. they PULL YOU DOWN and say “you’re too young to do that!”
Even other teens will pull them down.
Even well-meaning parents will pull them down. (-James Lee basketball:)
teachers vs. students bball game.
16 yr old James. He was more athletic, but my arms were longer. I knocked him down on pavement.
At halftime. We’re way up. His dad said to me– “He’s just a BOY! Go easy on him!”
I asked James, “Your dad said to go easy on you…what do you think? “Bring it on, mr lunn”
He got trounced. but had the game of his life.
Every rebound, he had to fight. Every shot, he could expect contact
dad like monkey pulling him down. Low expectations, labeling him as “just a boy”
but James knew he was a man. James knew if he wanted to excel, he had to RAISE THE STANDARD himself!
He chose to do hard things.
The problem with society’s low expectations, is that you get low results.
This is the Power of Expectations…
1. Grade 1a vs 1b.
Experiments on teenagers. Middle school students (ages 12-14) were divided randomly into 2 classes. The teachers were told that one class was made up of the best and brightest students at the school and that the other class was made up of the slower to average students. With that, the teachers began to teach….and guess what happened?
ALL of the teachers’ interactions with the students were tainted by their expectations. When the teachers worked with a student in the “bright” class, they persisted with the student until he or she found the answer. But when a student in the “slow” class didn’t find that answer right away, the teachers moved on to another student. When a student in the bright class struggled, the teachers brushed if off, saying that the student was just having an “off day.” But when the students in the slow class struggled, it was just because they were slow.
Don’t miss this: statistically the classes were exactly the same. The only difference was in what their teachers expected of them. Soon, the students began to meet those expectations. The “best and brightest” class began to excel, and the “slower” class began to lag behind.
That is the power of expectations. Low expectations yields low results.
Here’s a story that most of us in Indonesia can relate to.
Here are the results:
Jojo was spoiled, Didi was obedient.
caught with drugs
- Never come back drunk; always sober & smiling.
confiscated makeup
- Let her go anywhere she wants cuz I know she’s responsible.
never made her bed.
- Made MY bed!
Talked back
- Obeyed every word.
thought like a child
- Thought like an adult
Kim’s cousin
-Our maid
What's different? It's the expectations placed on each of them when they were growing up!!
JoJo, even as a teen, was only expected to do things that little kids do – 1. study hard. 2. Stay out of trouble.
Didi was expected to do adult things – earn money and send it home to help her little siblings go to school.
These expectations placed on them ended up with hugely different results during their older teenage years. (if Joanna had wanted to get married at 16, I’d splutter. Cuz she’s immature. If Dewi wanted to get married at 16, I’d be happy for her. Cuz she’s mature.)
3. Tasia’s Teenage-sitter
2 sisters come to church. 14 yr & 13 yr old.
We say “wassup.” “Hey, who’s your friend?” “That’s our maid”
I’m thinking “what…? You’re 14….and you have a 16 year old maid who’s half your size?”
Why is it that these 2 girls are not expected to be mature enough to handle themselves, and this tiny girl here is expected to be mature enough to handle herself AND 2 other teenagers??
What’s going on??
The result of low expectations: often result in a kidult.(not an adult; not a kid; but a kidult) 25-year olds who stay at home and play video games all day. You know any of those?
The expectations on them (either from themselves or from others), mold them into the type of person they are supposed to become.
Up until a hundred years ago, the expectations of teenagers were much higher.
200 years ago. David– (born in 1801). 10 year old – joined the navy. 12 year old, after battle, assigned to takePrisoners back to US. Uncle made him captain of ship. The captured British captain had a problem with taking orders from a 12-year old, so he announced that he was going below to get his pistols (out of respect for his position, he had been allowed to keep to keep them). David promptly sent him word that if he stepped foot on deck with his pistols, he would be shot and thrown overboard. The captain stayed below.
This 12 year old had some very adult-sized expectations placed on him! And he was successful!
David Farragut went on to become the admiral of the entire US navy.
Some kind of genius? No! 12 year olds have the ability to do these kinds of things!
250 years ago. George–(born in 1732). Surveyor at 17. Not office job. Manly frontier work. $100,000 a year. Not genius. Just an average young man. Became 1st president of US. George Washington.
Just 100 years ago. Husband Clarence + wife Lydia + baby. Arkansas to Cali (Cherry Valley). Covered wagon
Man – 18, wife – 16.
Kim’s Great Grandparents.
Teenagers used to be adults! What happened???
These examples shock us here in 2009, but that’s because we view our lives through an EXTRA social category called “adolescence”. If you said “adolescence” to someone 100 years ago, they’d be like “huh??”
All through history, there have only been 2 categories of age: childhood and adulthood
Nowadays, this artificial zone of “adolescence” has been created. A zone where young men and women are no longer children, yet they are:
1. forced to study (by law), and
2. discouraged from working
So of course, getting married and having a family and becoming a contributing member of society is delayed.
Thus, the “teenager” was invented, an unfortunate creature who has all the desires and abilities of an adult, but none of the freedoms or responsibilities.
Teens are pulled back down only by the myth of adolescence and society’s low expectations.
But you know what God says about these young adults??
“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
1 Corinthians 14:20
Unfortunately, many teens end up just the opposite! In their thinking they are like infants. And in regard to evil, they are advanced far beyond their years!
It’s time to turn that around.
It’s time for a change: it’s time for teens to rebel against low expectations.
It’s time for teenagers to think and act like godly adults.
Today, there ARE teenagers who are ignoring the monkeys of society, and choosing to act like adults:
Michael Sessions
Two months before, Michael was not old enough to vote. But on a November night in 2005, in a City Council chamber packed with reporters from as far away as Japan and Russia, he was sworn in as mayor of Hillsdale, Michigan.
In his only speech of the night, Michael thanked his family and friends. “I’m honored to have the opportunity to serve as mayor of Hillsdale. I am prepared to serve for each and every one of you,” he said.
Michael who turned 18 in September, was too young to get his name on the ballot, and had to run for mayor as a write-in candidate — meaning voters had to remember his name and add it to the ballot by hand in order to support him. Young Mr. Sessions launched his campaign, just one month before the election, with the $700 he made from his summer job.
Sessions was awarded one vote that had been in question by the elections office, which read simply "the 18 year old running for mayor"
Zach Hunter.
Three years ago, Zach Hunter was confronted with the painful truth about modern day slavery: 27 million people are in slavery around the world today, half of them children. He’s been on a campaign to change that ever since.
Zach is now 15 years old. And he explains. “It was Black History Month, and we were learning about slavery in the US. and I had thought, ‘Man, if I had lived back then, I would have done something to help them. I would have tried to end slavery and fight for equality.’ And then when I found out there was still something to do, I felt like I couldn’t just stand by like I agreed with it.”
When he was just 12 years old, Zach launched his ministry, Loose Change to Loosen Chains, raising more than $8,500 in his school and youth group to rescue victims of slavery and oppression.
He used to suffer from anxiety attacks, but now has spoken to more than half a million people at live events, appeared on national TV, written 2 books, and even delivered a speech at the White House.
In his books,he encourages his generation that they can make a difference in the world, even as teenagers.
“We can make a difference in the lives of slaves. It doesn’t really matter how young we are. It doesn’t matter if we have physical, mental, or emotional disabilities. It doesn’t matter the color of our skin or where we’re from. Anybody can make a difference and be a voice for the voiceless.”
Zach’s life verse:
“Learn to do right!
Seek justice,
Encourage the oppressed.
Defend the cause of the fatherless,
Plead the case of the widow.
Isaiah 1:17
Zach explains. “It doesn’t really get much more straightforward than that. It’s a call to action from God.”
These are just 2 examples of teens who are rebelling against low expectations. 18-year old Mayor Michael Sessions, and 15 year old Zach Hunter.
Teens are bigger and smarter than most old people, yet they are labeled “kids”
I asked our IES teens what they thought of being labeled “a kid”….
75% said they resent it
20% said they don’t care
5% said they like it.
Most teens don’t WANT to be kids. They WANT to be adults. They have the bodies of adults. They have the minds of adults. Throughout history they have been adults. Jesus expected his teenage disciples to be adults. But why aren’t today’s teens expected to adults?
Teens, are you acting like an adult, or a kid?
Parents and future-parents, do you expect your teens to act like adults, or kids?
Everyone else, let’s be a society that helps teens reach their God-given potential!
What I want you to know:
If the teens at IES would recognize that society is wrong to pull them down…
and if they let God’s Word and all of history govern their sense of what they are capable of, they would be a force this world could no longer ignore.
